Positive self-talk

Mine used to be horrible to me. It started in childhood. I was a challenging child. I ran away a lot from the age of two. I was fiercely independent but also demanding of attention. Compared to my brother I was 'naughty' and 'difficult'. I internalised these comments and started to believe that I wasn't good enough. My internal voice loved finding evidence to back up my beliefs. By the time I started my career as a teacher I felt deeply insecure and I was always doubting myself. My internal voice would run a constant commentary. "You aren't doing that well. You can't do anything right. You're so rubbish at your job'. I wasn't even aware that I was doing this to myself. About three years ago I started exploring the idea of mindfulness and meditation. Along the way I became aware of how I was speaking to myself and I was shocked. I was so nasty to myself all the time. Gradually I became aware of what I was actually saying and then little by little I started to change it. I had to imagine I was talking to a younger version of me, who needed encouragement and support. It felt very uncomfortable at first but I started to notice a difference in how I was showing up at work. I was able to stay in the moment more and I felt a little less anxious. This gave me the impetus to carry on and I now believe that it has had a life-changing effect on me. I feel calmer, more confident and I feel that I can be truthful to myself.